College of Comedy

The College of Comedy houses bards who find laughter to be the sharpest steel and the greatest medicine. Using their magic to inspire feelings of uproarious laughter in others, these so-called comedians are able to use their performances to life their spirits of allies or utterly incapacitate their enemies with ceaseless, oftentimes painful laughter that consumes every conscious thought and every labored breath.

Called comedians, these bards’ magic can be for good or for ill, lightening the spirits of the oppressed and downtrodden or making buffoons of the powerful as they see fit.

Bards from the College of Comedy are often greeted with a mixture of hopeful suspicion, as while everyone appreciates a good joke, most folks don’t like being the butt of even a well-told joke, and its impossible to know for certain which way an encounter with a comedian will go. Considered crude compared to the more refined performances of other bards, comedians are often popular with crass audiences.

Bard Level	Feature
3rd	Comedic Zinger, Empowered Zinger
6th	Layered Subtext
14th	Quick Quip

Comedic Zinger

At 3rd level, you can spend one use of your Bardic Inspiration as an action to tell an uproarious joke whose punch line produces a magical effect. When you do, choose a number of creatures you can see and that can see you within 60 feet, up to your Charisma modifier (minimum of one), and then choose one of your punch lines to affect those creatures with.

Punch Lines. You learn three punch lines of your choice, which are detailed under “Punch Lines” below. All punch lines are an effect delivered onto a creature using your Comedic Zinger. You can only apply one punch line to a creature per use of Comedic Zinger. You learn two additional punch lines of your choice at 6th and 14th levels. Each time you learn new punch lines, you can also replace one punch line you know with a different one.

Saving Throws. Some of your punch lines require your target to make a saving throw to resist the punch line’s effects.

Affected targets can make a new saving throw at the end of each of their turns. If it succeeds, the punch line ends for that target. The saving throw DC is calculated as follows: Punch line save DC = 8 + your proficiency bonus + your Charisma modifier

Empowered Zinger

At 3rd level, you can spend one bard spell slot whenever you use Comedic Zinger in order to lengthen its effects. When you do, your punch line’s duration increases to the following, based on the spell level of the spent spell slot: 1st-level (2 rounds), 2nd-level (5 rounds), 3rd-level (1 minute), 4th-level (10 minutes), 5th-level (30 minutes), 6th-level (1 hour), 7thlevel (6 hours), 8th-level (12 hours), 9th-level (24 hours). An empowered zinger ends after you complete a long rest.

Layered Zinger

At 6th level, you whenever you spend a use of Bardic Inspiration to use Comedic Zinger, choose two punch lines.

For each creature affected, choose one of these two punch lines to affect the target.

Quick Quip

At 14th level, when a creature you can see within 60 feet makes an attack roll, an ability check, or a saving throw and fails, you can use your reaction to expend one of your uses of Bardic Inspiration. That creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be affected by one of your punch lines of your choice.

Punch Lines

The punch lines are presented in alphabetical order.

Agonizing Pun. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 3d6 psychic damage and become unable to cast spells, active magic items, understand language, or communicate intelligibly for 1 round.

Belittling Jest. The creature must succeed on a Fortitude save or have their size reduced for a 1 round, acting as enlarge/reduce. While their size is reduced, the creature’s appearance changes to make them appear timid, enfeebled, or childish (your choice), acting as disguise self.

Befuddling Tomfoolery. The creature rolls must succeed on a Will save or be unable to take reactions. An affected creature must roll 1d10 at the start of each of its turns. If you spent a spell slot to empower your punch line, the creature takes a penalty to this roll equal to the slot’s level. If the creature’s result is 1 or lower, it doesn’t move or act that turn.

Cowing Antics. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be temporarily transmuted into a new form for 1 round, acting as polymorph except the target’s game statistics aren’t replaced.

Crude Curse. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or roll your Bardic Inspiration die and subtract the result from any attack roll or saving throw. After the creature has applied your Bardic Inspiration die to a number of attack rolls or saving throws equal to your Charisma modifier, this punch line automatically ends.

Debilitating Burn. The creature takes 3d6 fire damage. A successful Fortitude save reduces the damage by half. If you spent a spell slot to empower your punch line, increase the damage by 1d6 for each slot level.

Incapacitating Joke. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be knocked prone and become incapacitated for 1 round.

Inciting One-Liner. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or become distracted for a 1 round, causing their attacks to have disadvantage and for attacks against them to have advantage. This distraction doesn’t apply to your attacks or to attacks attempted against you.

Sardonic Belaborment. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or be frightened for 1 round. While frightened, the creature must roll 1d10 at the start of every turn that it has line of sight to you. If you spent a spell slot to empower your punch line, the creature takes a penalty to this roll equal to the slot’s level. If the creature’s result is 1 or lower, it must take the Dash action and move away from you by the safest available route, unless there is nowhere to move.

Uplifting Remark. The creature has advantage on saving throws against effects that cause them to become frightened or charmed for 1 round. If the creature is already frightened or charmed and they gained this condition from failing a saving throw, they can spend one Hit Dice to reroll that saving throw. If the new saving throw is a success, the condition ends. Once a creature uses this punch line to reroll a saving throw, they cannot do so again until after they have finished a long rest.

Wry Retort. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or have its confidence shaken for 1 round, causing it to have disadvantage on rolls of a type it previously failed during the previous round. For example, if the creature failed an attack roll on the turn prior to your using of this punch line, that creature has disadvantage on attack rolls.