Cloak of Bad Advice

Wondrous item, rare (requires attunement)

The impressively tall and ornate collar of the cloak shivers, and then the mouths on its two golden clasps begin making improbable suggestions on ways to scale a cliff using catapults, elephants, and a series of interlocked spiked chains.

No one is sure exactly what the creator of the first cloak of bad advice was trying to create.

Little can be gleaned from the cloak’s appearance.

The cloak itself is a bright crimson cloth, normally fine linen, but less often of silk or satin. It is lined in samite with ornate stitched patterns, and has a stiff, ornate collar that sticks up higher than a typical wearer’s head on the back and sides. It is held in place by two heavy golden clasps, each with a pair of full, sculpted lips upon them, and a gold chain that connects the clasps.

The intended design of the cloak was almost certainly an effort to have some kind of advisor or social enchantment placed in a cape or robe… which is already an odd choice. In fact, some artificers call out the cloak as proof that there’s a reason no one normally tries to make boots of eloquence or pants of charming (though that last does occasionally show up as custom requests from performers).

Regardless of the intent, the end result is both much worse than could have possibly been intended, and strangely useful. Because at apparently random moments, which failure is almost certain, the cloak offers up advice.

Spectacularly bad advice.

The cloak activates only when you attempt an ability check or skill check, and the die result is a natural 5 (the d20 shows a “5”). When that happens, the two golden mouth-clasps both begin making suggestions on how to overcome the task you were attempting with the ability or skill check.

And all the suggestions are bad. Not just a little bad, but tremendously, spectacularly bad. Ideas that-will-get-you-killed-or-kicked-out-of-church bad. And obviously so. If you attempt to follow the advice, you not only automatically fail the check, you suffer the worst possible failure (for example if a check has a more severe penalty for failing by 5 or more, or if a system of critical fumbles is in place, you suffer those worst possible results).

But for all their terrible details, the horrific recommendations of the cloak also spark creative thoughts in the wearer. As long as you do not follow the cloak’s advice, you can change tactics at the last second and possible succeed where you would have failed. As a reaction, you can immediately reroll the ability or skill check that triggered the cloak’s ability. You must use the second roll, but if the d20 result on the second roll is a 01-05, add +10 to the final result.